Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
