forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
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