Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
