Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize