that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
