the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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