wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
