I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
