I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
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I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
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He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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