I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
