How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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