1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
