This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Randomize
