fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
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