Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
