At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
You have to summon your inner elephant
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
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