I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize