Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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