You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
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noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
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I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
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