spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Dicks are not precious.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
