I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
