Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Randomize
