Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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