You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
