if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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