Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
