Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
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It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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