She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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