I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
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Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
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Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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