entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
