went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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