i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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