on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
