I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
