i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
