If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
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