Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
where am i from again
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Randomize
