u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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