i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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