he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize