If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize