I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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