Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
