i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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