These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
and she was petting her beer can
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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