didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
