:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
