At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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