Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
