...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
