I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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