Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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