I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
