At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
