In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
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