May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Do vagina's smell?
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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