Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
