Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
