dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
