Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize