Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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