You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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