my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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