no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Let's get the cat blown out
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
