Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize