I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
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