He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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